360° Motherhood Evolution
Positive Associations for a Beautiful, Painless Birth
Going to the Toilet
Workouts
Napping on a Plane
Positions
Sex
Positive associations work in two directions:
– Mentally — because you start assigning to birth qualities like simplicity, ease, and beauty.
– Physically — because you begin to familiarize your body with sensations similar to those you’ll feel during birth, making them feel known and natural.
Until now, you may have associated birth with fear — something to dread, something you just want to get over with.
You’ve probably only heard negative things about birth — the pain, the trauma, the emergency cesareans.
There are many women who fear natural birth so deeply that they choose a C-section without thinking twice.
The fear becomes so overwhelming that it feels safer to hand over all control than to face the unknown.
But while that choice might seem easier in the moment, it often comes with a price — physical, emotional, and deeply personal.
Birth was never meant to be a threat or a battle.
It’s a natural process — one your body was perfectly designed to carry out.
When you trust yourself and understand what’s happening inside your body, the fear dissolves…
and birth becomes exactly what it was meant to be: a passage, a meeting, a physiological process that unfolds on its own — simply, smoothly, automatically.
In movies, birth always starts with the water breaking and screaming — chaos from the first moment all the way through labor.
And if your own mother had a traumatic birth, that imprint became your first subconscious program about birth, even if you were just a baby.
Your subconscious stored it all — and if she later told you how hard it was to give birth to you, it reinforced that message.
You’ve grown up surrounded by painful birth stories.
At work, maybe you’ve heard your colleagues — now mothers — sharing their own difficult, even traumatic experiences.
Without realizing it, your mind has already written a “program” about what birth means.
Even if you know other people’s experiences aren’t yours, fear still finds a way in — especially if you’ve never heard beautiful stories.
But I want you to know they exist. And I’ll make sure you read them.
There are so many women who:
– grew up in neutral environments where no one spoke badly about birth, so they never learned to fear it — and went on to have fast, gentle, most of the time pain-free births,
– or they did the inner work to rewrite their beliefs, replacing negative programming with truth, trust, and beauty — and created their own beautiful births. Like I did.
But I went a step further:
I didn’t just want a perfect, beautiful birth — I wanted one without pain.
So, if you grew up with negative associations about birth… how do we create new ones?
How do we rewire your mind with a different blueprint?
We’ll explore what sensations you can associate with birth.
Because right now, you don’t really know what to expect. You don’t know how birth feels.
So, we’ll do exercises that mimic parts of the birthing process.
That way, you’ll get familiar with how it works — and when the moment comes, birth will no longer be foreign.
It will feel natural. Beautiful. And easy.
What kind of associations are we talking about?
– Going to the bathroom
– Workouts
– Sleeping on a plane
– Labor positions
– Sex
Going to the Toilet
Since you already using the toilet every day, and because the process is very similar to birth — it’s an expulsion pushed by muscles — it serves as the perfect reminder of what your body already knows how to do, naturally and effortlessly. You’ve done this your whole life, many times, and no one ever told you it was hard, traumatic, or something to fear. You’ve never heard horror stories about going to the toilet that made you anxious to go.
Aside from a few situations — like eating something that doesn’t sit well or reacting to a food sensitivity — going number two is usually simple and easy. Sometimes it’s so uneventful you barely notice it happened. You might even be on your phone, distracted, while your body just takes care of it.
That’s how much trust you have in this natural function.
That level of trust is what we want to transfer to the birth process.
You probably know that birth has two main phases: labor and expulsion.
During labor, the uterus begins contracting and slowly opens the cervix. Each contraction helps widen it a little more. Once space is created, the expulsion phase begins — your uterus pushes the baby down, and in doing so, the baby’s movement gradually massages the area, gently opening the vaginal canal.
When I say “massage,” I’m referring to a natural motion that goes back and forth — a rhythm of in and out. This motion, built into the design of birth itself, softens and prepares the area for baby’s passage. The whole process is meant to unfold gradually and gently.
Just like you’re patient when you go to the bathroom, you must also be patient during birth.
The issue is that often the medical staff lacks this patience. They’re at work, they have other responsibilities, they’re on a schedule. It’s understandable — but it leads to rushing your process. They want things to move fast, so they can move on.
But just like you can’t force a bowel movement in one minute before leaving the house, you also can’t rush birth. If you feel rushed or pressured, your body may slow down — or even stop. And just like at home on the toilet, it will only resume later, when you feel safe again.
The difference is that at the hospital, if labor hasn’t clearly started, they rarely send you home.
Instead, they usually suggest artificial oxytocin to “get things going.”
But often, this results in traumatic experiences — because your body wasn’t actually ready.
Anything that’s not natural and freely unfolding has the potential to become traumatic.
Now, this doesn’t mean oxytocin never works. In some cases, it helps quickly. But that’s because the body was already close to labor and isn’t that bothered.
The huge downside of artificial oxytocin is that it forces very strong contractions right from the start. These are intense, aggressive, imposed on your body. There’s no time to adjust. They’re the same and do not allow for needed natural pauses.
Natural contractions rise gradually in intensity — they give you space to adapt.
You don’t necessarily feel pain — you feel waves, movement. Just a muscle working, like during a workout.
Same as when your leg muscles contract during repeated squats — except the sensation is simply in a new area.
Birth is not pain. It’s movement. It’s contraction.
It’s a muscle pulling and pushing — just like the muscles in your legs during a workout. It’s still a contraction. The only difference is that this time, the sensation happens in a new place.
Just like going to the toilet: your muscles pull downward and then push outward. It’s the same mechanism.
The training for this association has two exercises:
1. Associating birth with a simple, easy sensation
2. Practicing breathing for openness and connection
1. Associating birth with a simple, easy sensation
Every time you sit on the toilet, put your phone aside and:
– Feel the sensation of things moving forward
– Feel how your body pushes on its own when it’s ready
– Notice how your body does this automatically, without conscious effort
– Notice how, sometimes, your body asks for a gentle push — and more often times it doesn’t
– Feel the ease of the process
– Feel the light contractions of the muscles that help move things along
How often?
Every day — every time you go to the bathroom — starting at least one month before your birth and alongside the other practical exercises.
Through this exercise, by observing your body daily, you also gain the opportunity to better understand which foods are compatible with you and which aren’t.
Anytime you eat something that your body doesn’t tolerate well, the act of going number two becomes painful, slow, or difficult.
Of course, rule out emotional conflicts first. If you know you’re eating the usual nourishing foods and still experience difficulty, it might be related to feeling unsafe in a situation you’re living through. I’ll explain more about this in the Healing Code section.
2. Practicing breathing for openness and connection
Another great exercise you can do while going “number 2” on the toilet is the expulsion breathing.
It’s essential to associate this type of breathing with birth, because it trains you to stay open during the “exit.”
To listen to your body, to help only when it genuinely asks for a gentle push, and to keep your pelvic area completely relaxed.
Not to tense up. Not to “hold it in.” But to stay focused on staying soft and open — no matter the external or internal conditions.
External factors
You already know this: if you hear a sudden noise or someone unexpectedly walks into the house while you’re on the toilet, your body immediately hits pause for a few seconds — until the stress response fades.
Birth is the same — except that the effect can last several minutes, especially if the stress comes from a vaginal check, harsh words, or unexpected touch.
You can even practice this with your partner: ask him to randomly walk in on you while you’re in the bathroom, just so you can train yourself to stay open and relaxed despite the interruption.
Think about how it feels to go number 2 in an airport, in someone else’s home, or while on vacation. It’s uncomfortable, right? And yet — you probably know that feeling when you’ve reached the point of no return, when your body takes over and you simply have to go. No way to hold it anymore.
Some people can’t go to the toilet at all when they’re away from home because they don’t feel safe. The environment isn’t familiar. If you’re one of them, try going in unfamiliar places to practice this flexibility.
It’s a powerful way to build the kind of ease you’ll need during birth.
Because birth works the same way: your body knows what to do — even when your mind might want to delay the moment.
There are two phases:
The phase where you feel it coming, but you can still hold it.
You know that feeling when you need to go to the bathroom, but it’s not the right moment — maybe the toilet’s occupied, or you’re out in public and there’s no place to go. Your body knows how to pause, and the sensation temporarily fades.
Birth works the same way in the early stages: the process can be easily interrupted by external factors — stress, fear, unwanted company, or an environment that doesn’t feel safe. The body senses it’s not the right time and slows everything down. Contractions may space out or weaken. Things only pick back up when you relax and feel safe again.
The phase when your body takes over and you have no choice anymore.
Just like when you’ve passed the point of no return — even if you’re not home or comfortable — your body decides it’s time to release. That’s the turning point.
Once the expulsion begins, your body enters a deeply instinctual mode. You can’t stop it, delay it, or reason with it. It just happens.
In birth, this is when your body leads 100%, and you become the witness of a primal force working through you.
If you’ve ever barely made it to the bathroom in time — when your body was so ready to let go — you’ll know that feeling of relief, release, and success. Birth is just like that.
Only this time, it comes with a rush of love hormones that make the whole thing euphoric.
Honestly, it’s hard to believe someone could make it this far in life without at least one close call — one moment where you almost didn’t make it… but you did. And when you did, it felt like a personal victory.
Well, that’s what the end of birth feels like. A triumphant moment — but this time, you get to hold your triumph in your arms.
Internal Factors
Sometimes, during the pushing phase, as the baby’s head stretches the tissues around the perineum, you might feel an intense burning sensation — what many call the “ring of fire” — and sometimes, a sudden fear of tearing.
Exactly at that moment — just like it happened to me during my second birth — it becomes crucial to stay focused on keeping your body open.
Fear activates the self-protection instinct. And instead of staying open, your body reacts by tightening, clenching, resisting.
That’s exactly why we train: so we can remain soft, open, and relaxed even when the sensations — physical or emotional — get intense.
Because I had practiced this, it was easy for me to stay focused on openness when I felt that “ring of fire.”
It only lasted a few seconds, but those seconds made a difference. That’s how I gave birth to a 4.3 kg baby with an intact perineum — skin perfectly whole, no tears — and everyone present was amazed and impressed: the nurses, the midwives, the doctor, the doula.
(Yes, my husband was there too, with our first child in a baby carrier — we chose a private hospital that allows this. They both stayed with me overnight, and we all slept together in the same hospital room.)
That’s why we train to stay open.
Even if someone walks in or out of the room.
Even if you’re being watched by several pairs of eyes (honestly, you won’t even notice — I couldn’t tell you how many people were there — maybe 3–4 staff and 3 of my own).
Even if someone touches you — whether it’s a vaginal check or the doppler to hear baby’s heartbeat — you won’t mind it, because your focus is deep, and you’ve trained for this.
This breathing and openness exercise works hand-in-hand with visualizing unknown people coming and going from the birth space.
We train ourselves to stay centered.
To stay focused on our work.
To remain open and to breathe.
When you keep your attention on your breath and on keeping the pelvic area soft and open, you stay inward — right where you’re meant to be during birth — while also giving your body space to do its job.
You’re simply holding the space.
One essential reminder: do not hold your breath.
Your body needs oxygen as it works harder than usual. Holding your breath while pushing (especially on command) often tenses the pelvic floor and can lead to tearing or exhaustion.
If it doesn’t feel natural for you to push that way, don’t force it — and don’t blindly follow medical instructions in that moment.
You’re the one giving birth. You’re the one who feels what’s happening in your body — not the doctor.
Treat their suggestions as just that: suggestions. Not commands.
We train so we can bring ease into this process.
So it becomes familiar.
And so we trust that we can do it.
What exactly does this type of breathing look like?
With your mouth relaxed and open, inhale through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth.
When you feel the natural urge to push, let out a long, vocal exhale.
Not a forced sound — but a soft, deep tone that flows with the breath:
“aaaah…”, “oooh…”, “mmmm…” — anything that comes out naturally in a low pitch.
The sound has a deep effect
It brings your awareness into your body, but not into the pushing — rather, it shifts the focus up so that the pelvic area can stay free and relaxed.
When your mouth is open and your jaw relaxed, your perineum automatically relaxes too.
There’s a direct connection between your mouth and pelvis — not just metaphorically, but physiologically.
Tension in one creates tension in the other.
Relaxation in one allows the other to soften too.
This mouth-to-pelvis connection is not just symbolic — it’s biological.
In the human body, the jaw and the pelvic floor (including the perineum) are connected through fascia, nerves, and neuromuscular reflexes.
They influence each other.
When you clench your jaw, grit your teeth, or hold tension in your mouth, your nervous system reads this as a stress or defense response.
Automatically, the pelvic muscles also tense up.
The body “closes” as a protective mechanism.
But birth needs the opposite: openness, flow, deep surrender.
That’s why a low voice, open mouth, and soft lips are signs that your body is in a state of flow — and most importantly, that your pelvis is open and ready to let your baby descend.
You can even test this connection in reverse: if you consciously relax your pelvic area, you’ll feel your jaw and mouth soften too.
This relationship has been observed and used for centuries by traditional midwives and is now recognized in modern birth prep methods — from hypnobirthing to prenatal yoga.
To be honest, I don’t remember if I made any vocal sounds during my second birth, the one I trained for using this method.
But I clearly remember how deep inside myself I was — eyes closed, focused on keeping my mouth and pelvis soft, staying open, and allowing the baby to come out with ease.
Even when I felt that “ring of fire,” which — honestly — is no big deal and only lasts a few seconds.
It’s just the outer skin stretching a lot.
And I made it through beautifully.
And so can you.
Why low sounds?
Low-pitched sounds aren’t just odd or awkward noises you make the first few times you practice — they’re a powerful tool for deep reconnection with your body.
These vibrations can be felt in your chest, pelvis, and sacrum. You don’t just feel them — you hear them and experience them throughout your body, like a wave of energy moving through you. They pull your awareness out of what’s uncomfortable and into your upper body — to let the pushing phase just be.
The low sound also acts as an inner guide: if it flows easily and freely, it’s a sign that your body is relaxed and everything is moving in harmony.
In this way, the sound helps you regulate yourself, stay grounded, and remain open.
With each long, deep, low-pitched exhale, you relax not only your mouth and jaw, but also your entire perineum.
It’s a gentle form of self-support, coming from within — something you can practice anytime, anywhere.
It’s simple, natural, and incredibly effective.
When and how?
You can practice these exercises one at a time during your first few bathroom visits over the next days, until you eventually do them all in a single go. It depends on how much time you spend on the toilet. If the visits are short, just practice one at a time.
If you have longer moments, try a little of each — and you’ll start to notice how the whole process becomes easier and faster when you connect to your body in these ways.
Repeat them daily, every time you go to the bathroom.
The goal is for your mind and body to associate the pushing phase with relaxation, ease, and trust.
To understand that there’s no need to control the process — just to be present with your body, to support it simply by giving it the space it needs to do its job.
All this practice creates a kind of muscle memory.
So when labor begins, it won’t feel like something foreign.
Your body already knows what to do — but now, your mind does too.
And you’ll be able to move through this short window of time with presence, calm, and confidence.
Workouts
More specifically, this is about associating birth with interval workouts — where you do an exercise for 30–50 seconds, followed by a 10–15 second break.
Besides the fact that movement is essential for overall health and longevity — training your body for what it was made to do — these types of workouts also help prepare you for birth in several key ways:
1. You prove to yourself that you can do something intense, intentionally challenging, for a few minutes.
2. You build trust that you can handle a contraction for the 40–50 seconds it lasts.
3. You grow confidence in your heart’s ability to work under intensity.
4. You associate the ease, rhythm, effort, intensity, breathing, contractions, and release of birth with physical training.
1.You prove to yourself that you can do something intense, intentionally challenging, for a few minutes.
Just like I explained in the previous association, the uterus is made of muscle. The contractions we feel during birth are simply the contractions of that muscle. If we become familiar ahead of time with what a muscle contraction actually feels like — whether it’s in the biceps or the thighs — then it becomes much easier to understand that a uterine contraction is also just a muscle working, not a pain.
The uterus doesn’t contract as intensely as during a hardcore workout that leaves you with sore muscles. It’s more like repeating the same exercise over and over for more than half an hour. Eventually, it might become… uncomfortable, because the intensity increases, and the “work intervals” start to happen on their own.
Luckily, birth comes with its own support system: hormones designed to make the whole process feel much easier than a real workout — as long as those hormones are supported by a safe environment where you’re not interrupted too often.
And if that’s in place, it’s hard to go wrong.
2. You build trust that you can handle a contraction for the 40–50 seconds it lasts.
If you’ve ever done a home workout with intervals, gone for an interval run, or even walked briskly with slower recovery breaks, it will be easy for you to relate that sensation to labor.
And even if you’re just now starting to explore a quick 5-minute workout to notice what a muscle contraction feels like — it will still help you connect the experience to birth.
A contraction during natural labor typically lasts between 30 and 90 seconds, depending on the stage of labor:
Early labor (latent phase): 45-30 seconds, with 30-5 minute breaks
Active labor: 60-45 seconds, with 5-2 minute breaks
Transition (the most intense phase before pushing): 90-60 seconds, with 2 minute breaks to 30 seconds.
Between contractions, you get real breaks — longer ones in early labor and shorter ones as labor progresses.
It’s just like interval training. Rest – work – rest – work.
If you’ve done even a few interval workouts with intense effort followed by rest, then your body already knows what it’s like to handle a contraction.
And just like in interval training, the rest periods are crucial — they let you recover, recentre, and breathe. If your mind and body are trained to work together, you’ll experience contractions more like waves of effort than pain.
The only difference is that this time, you’re not the one choosing when to contract the muscle. It happens on its own — just like when you need to go to the bathroom. It accurs when it knows best.
Your body knows what it’s doing. These programs have been embedded in your DNA for thousands of years.
You’re not doing this alone — you’re riding on the power, wisdom, and experience of millions of women before you.
It’s all inside you.
3. You grow confidence in your heart’s ability to work under intensity.
During pregnancy, your heart works harder because:
– You have more blood in your body (blood volume increases by up to 50%)
– You’re supplying blood to a uterus, a placenta, and a developing baby
– Your kidneys have more substances to filter
More work. More beats. More effort.
The maternal heart rate during labor — especially during pushing — can reach levels similar to intense physical exercise, often between 120–160 bpm, with frequent intervals above 110 bpm and sometimes even exceeding 170 bpm during active pushing.
But your body adapts, just like it does in sports.
If you hike up a hill or do squats, your heart beats faster. That’s normal.
What’s not normal is interpreting every rise in heart rate as a sign of danger.
That’s where fear sneaks in.
And it makes you wonder:
How many people actually work out just to experience how fast their heart can beat — and to get comfortable with that sensation?
Because that’s how you build familiarity. That’s how you stop associating intensity with danger.
And that’s exactly the kind of trust you’ll need in labor.
Fear of high blood pressure – and medical overuse
High blood pressure is one of the most common reasons given for why you can’t give birth naturally.
And yes — if your blood pressure is consistently high and paired with other serious symptoms, it absolutely needs to be looked into. But…
In many cases, a one-time spike in blood pressure is just your body signaling that:
– you’re stressed,
– you were rushing before the appointment,
– you climbed the stairs to get to the clinic,
– you got stuck in traffic and a few people annoyed you,
– you don’t feel safe in the doctor’s office — because let’s be honest, you mostly go there to hear about risks, problems, and a million new tests that drain your wallet.
And what often happens next?
They plant fear in your heart. You’re told it’s dangerous. That “maybe it’s safer to do a C-section — just to be sure” or some other variation of that phrase, repeated with more and more urgency as the due date approaches.
Fear grows fast — especially when you’re pregnant.
And if every visit revolves around what could go wrong… your body enters a state of alert. Yes, your blood pressure might go up — but not because your body “can’t handle birth.”
It rises because you’ve been stopped too many times from trusting your body.
So how do workouts help?
Whether it’s a brisk walk during pregnancy, or you used to run, or even if all you remember are your old P.E. classes, it’s important to witness how your heart works during intensity.
Move your body not just to stay fit, but to learn what it feels like when your system is working hard — and that it’s okay.
So you don’t get scared of a fast heartbeat, heavier breathing, or a wave of heat.
So you can feel at home in your body — even in intense moments.
4. You associate the ease, rhythm, effort, intensity, breathing, contractions, and release of birth with physical training.
How do we work on this association?
A. One way to associate a muscle contraction with birth contractions:
Tense and hold any muscle — it can be your bicep, glutes (one or both sides), quads (your thigh), or even your abs if that feels comfortable. Sit on a chair and do this exercise: hold the tension for at least 30 seconds, or work your way up gradually.
That’s exactly what your uterus does — it holds the contraction of its own muscle.
B. Another way to train this connection is through walking intervals.
Walk briskly for 1 minute, then slow down for 20–30 seconds, then pick up the pace again. Keep alternating for as many minutes as you can, and increase the total time gradually.
A treadmill, stationary bike, or elliptical machine can work just as well — the goal is to build trust in your body and associate the more intense intervals and the strong heartbeat with labor.
So it’s not about starting a big fitness routine during pregnancy — it’s just about doing a few short sessions to consciously make this association with birth.
C. Try a short interval workout a few times — it could be arm or leg exercises.
It doesn’t even have to be longer than 5 minutes. The goal is to be present in your body, to observe and feel your muscles contracting over and over, and to imagine that this is what your uterus does too.
The key is to pick an interval-style workout.
Search for low-impact workouts on YouTube or routines designed for pregnant women. “Low impact” means no jumping or jarring movements — the exercises are calm and grounded.
Search for low-impact workouts on YouTube or routines designed for pregnant women. “Low impact” means no jumping or jarring movements — the exercises are calm and grounded.
Search terms to try:
low impact circuit training, low impact interval training, workout for pregnant women, pregnancy workout, 5 minute workout interval training
The Rhythm of Birth vs. the Rhythm of Training - Same Pattern, Different Purpose
When you start an interval workout, your body feels slow, unmotivated, you’d rather be doing something else… and yet, you keep going.
After 10–15 minutes, your body has warmed up and you start feeling comfortable — everything flows easier, like “a well-oiled machine.”
The joints are loosened, nothing creaks anymore, movements are smoother, exercises feel lighter, and your body is actually enjoying it.
After a few more minutes, you start to feel tired, you’re sweating, and it gets intense. Your heart is beating faster, and you’re just waiting for the next break to rest.
During each exercise, you focus on your breath to push through those last few reps, even though your muscles are burning.
When you finish, you feel amazing — victorious, because once again you did something that isn’t exactly easy, but also not hard.
The rhythm of birth is incredibly similar, just stretched over a longer time.
It starts slowly, longer breaks, your body adjusts, it gets comfortable with the feelings, then the intensity builds, the breaks get shorter, and the effort during the “work windows” increases.
You focus on your breathing to distract from the muscle that’s working harder for a few more reps.
But it’s not pain — it’s just a muscle doing its job, training on its own.
And in this workout session, the reward is a baby.
How often should you practice the association of birth with workouts?
As often as you feel the need — until you truly feel trust in your body has taken root.
Every time fear about birth creeps in, just tense a muscle and remind yourself: this is all that’s happening in your uterus — a muscle contraction.
Practicing these types of association exercises — linking birth contractions to any other muscle contraction in your body — helps you realize that birth can be easy, not painful. The more often you repeat this, the clearer the association becomes, and the easier it is to erase negative beliefs about birth from your mind.
This is what it means to normalize intense sensations in the body, so that you stop interpreting them as a threat — whether in exercise, in birth, or during anxiety.
Other positive associations will be added here in the next few days.
If you need me, just write on the chat box in the bottom right corner.
Last updated: the 24th of June 2025
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