360° Motherhood Evolution

Why Women Experience Painful Births

For many women, birth is synonymous with pain. But the truth is that not all births have to be painful. It is not a rule.

So why do so many mothers go through difficult experiences, marked by fear and suffering?

4 reasons for today.

The answer lies in the lack of information, lack of preparation, lack of connection with their own body, and the wrong choice of a birth place.

1. They haven’t read anything about birth

When you don’t know what to expect, your body goes into alert mode. Most women enter labor without having learned how the body actually works during the phases of birth. They don’t know that there are simple and effective methods to manage contractions with ease.

And most importantly, they don’t know the key condition for an easy birth: total relaxation.

2. Choosing the wrong place to give birth

The place where you give birth massively impacts your experience. If you choose a public hospital, the chances of being relaxed are very low—procedures, rushed staff, and especially the interventions that disrupt a natural birth and turn it into a medicalized one.

The solution? Stay home as long as possible during labor, so that the hormones responsible for an easy and comfortable birth can rise to their maximum levels before you arrive in a place where relaxation is difficult to achieve—beyond the “point of no return” that I explain in my book Associations.

I cannot stress enough how vital it is to know in advance what medical interventions are routinely applied in hospitals, how they can negatively affect your birth, and the fact that you have the right to refuse, to delay, and to continue birthing naturally until the birth of you baby then of your placenta.

3. All you ever heard was that “birth hurts”

Society repeats this message until it becomes the only accepted reality. But there are many other kinds of births in the world—easy, natural, simple, fast, intense, painless, pleasurable, and even orgasmic. For each type, there are specific preparation methods.

Those who don’t prepare at all usually end up with traumatic, heavy, painful births. And the majority of these happen in hospitals… largely because of interventions.

4. Lack of connection with their own body

When you don’t use your body for what it was designed for—movement, strength, endurance—you never truly get to know it. The sensations your body sends during labor—heart racing, muscles contracting intensely, accelerated breathing—are interpreted by the mind as danger. Why? Because they are unfamiliar.

On the other hand, when you know your body through sport and movement, you already know your birth ahead of time. The uterus is just another muscle. For an active woman, the sensations of the uterus in labor can be perceived as just another workout—sometimes even easy compared to other intense training she has done. For some, labor can feel as simple as warm-up exercises before training—yet always beneficial.

The sensation, once interpreted by the mind as danger, is now something very familiar, something you can relax into. You can allow your mind to rest and your body to carry out its unique training—with the most beautiful outcome: the birth of your baby.

Birth is not about pain, but about awareness of your options, preparation, relaxation, and trust. With the right information, the right environment, and a strong relationship with your body, you can transform birth into an experience that is beautiful, natural, and even pleasurable. I only have the method for painless.